RamseyEss

Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:
The Kardashian sisters will appear topless in a new series of ads for Sears promoting a line of jeans named for each of them. So be sure to pick up your pairs of “Over Her” and “The Other One” jeans today! [KEY: Those names stitched on denim]

From the week of February 1st, 2012:
Officials in Weed, California arrested a man at a local bus terminal who was carrying more than 1 million dollars in meth. Meanwhile, officials in Meth, California are very close to passing legislation to change their name.

Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:
CBS has ordered a new series that will be set at the headquarters for Groupon. The show’s about three wacky friends who work at a company that’s about to collapse into bankruptcy.

From the Week of February 1st, 2012:
A couple in Las Vegas this week, who have been married for 78 years, were named the longest married couple in the country, with a combined length of 188 inches.

From the Week of February 1st, 2012:
A new casino being constructed in Atlantic City, New Jersey has announced that it will set term limits for its staff, requiring them to reapply for their jobs after their term ends, which will give the entire staff a specific point to reflect and consider where their lives went wrong.

Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:
On Monday, NBC pulled an episode of the reality show “Fear Factor” in which contestants were forced to drink donkey semen, and since they won’t be airing that episode, that means that you’re watching the network that made someone drink donkey for no reason.

Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:
Mitt Romney on Tuesday won the Florida primary with 47 percent of the vote. But only if you consider being popular in Florida “winning.”

Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:
Newt Gingrich is being sued for using the song “Eye of the Tiger” from Rocky III at political rallies. You know you’re in trouble when it’s 2012 and the band Survivor is asking to be heard by fewer people.

From the Week of January 1, 2012:
A new report shows that men took the majority of new jobs created last year, preventing the first-ever majority female workforce in US history. Just remember ladies, it’s not a competition. But if it were, we’d totally be just barely still winning.

From the Week of January 1, 2012:
While two men in Utah were being arrested for shoplifting, another man broke into their car and stole electronic equipment in a classic example of “an eye for an iPod.”