RamseyEss

From the Week of May 7th, 2012:
In a new interview James Cameron says that the only movies he plans on making from now on are documentaries and sequels to Avatar. America has announced that they only plan on seeing half of those choices.

From the Week of May 7th, 2012:
Two men this week filed a 2 million dollar federal lawsuit against John Travolta alleging that the actor groped them and tried to force a sexual encounter during a private massage at a hotel in Atlanta. Travolta claims that he only told the masseuse that he wanted to “hand JIVE.”

From the Week of May 7th, 2012:
Producers of the AMC series Mad Men had to pay 250,000 dollars for the rights to use the Beatles’ song “Tomorrow Never Knows” in a recent episode. Although that sounds like a lot, it’s nothing compared to the price of using a Beatles song that people would recognize.

From the Week of May 7th, 2012:
Mitt Romney on Tuesday criticized President Obama saying that the country is not going “forward, but sideways or worse,” though some would say that’s better than Romney’s plan to move the country backwards to 1890.

From the Week of May 7th, 2012:
A federal judge this week ruled in favor of Victor Willis, from the Village People, in his effort to regain control of the rights to their hit song “YMCA” from two publishing companies. That’s the way the court systems work in this country: always siding with the cops.

From the week of February 26th, 2012:
The final volume of the Dictionary of American Regional English will soon be published and feature definitions for such words as “bubbler,” which is a water fountain in Wisconsin, “dry-land fish,” which is a mushroom in Kentucky, and Santorum, which in some communities in America refers to a senator from Pennsylvania.

From the week of February 26th, 2012:
While campaigning in Georgia this week, Newt Gingrich price of gas to $2.50 a gallon. This became less exciting when he explained that he would do so by drilling on the moon.

From the week of February 26th, 2012:
It was reported that Mitt Romney personally drove out to Kid Rock’s house in Michigan to get the musician to perform at a political rally on Monday. This information did not improve anyone’s opinion of Kid Rock or Mitt Romney.

From the week of February 26th, 2012:
Michael Douglas is starring in a series of ads for the FBI warning people about the dangers of insider trading and Ponzi schemes. Unfortunately he ends the ads with the confusing slogan: “and remember what my character Gordon Gecko would say in the Bizzaro universe: greed is bad.”

From the week of February 26th, 2012:
This Tuesday was National Pancake Day at IHOP. But shouldn’t it be International Pancake Day? I’m beginning to think that IHOP isn’t as internationally accredited as they claim.