Ramsey Ess is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn. He is a weekly columnist on old TV for Splitsider, podcaster, and a freelance writer for television.Tumblr (3.0; @ramseyesscom)http://ramseyess.net/<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzuwin1Um51qe8p34o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span>2012 Oscars Party Decorations - “The Tartist”</span></p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18135633987http://ramseyess.net/post/18135633987Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:27:00 -0500oscardecorationsoscarpartyoscarstheartistartist<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzutw5ZCPN1qe8p34o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span>2012 Oscars Party Decorations - “Meatball”</span></p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18133367026http://ramseyess.net/post/18133367026Thu, 23 Feb 2012 11:31:17 -0500oscarsoscarpartyoscardecorations<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz6ww64hWb1qzrtkmo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://murderabbey.tumblr.com/post/18075300975/murder-abbey-is-tomorrow-6pm-at-the-upright">murderabbey</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>MURDER ABBEY IS TOMORROW!  6PM! At the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre in NY!</p> <blockquote> <p><span>A solo costume <strike>drama</strike> COMEDY written by and starring me, Kate Hess!</span><br/><br/><span class="text_exposed_show">The Lords and Ladies of grand English estate Murder Abbey face far greater threats than silly little World War I. Servants keep selfishly letting themselves be murdered and it’s VERY inconvenient for the rich people. Only Miss Beecher a nosy, intrusive old lady detective with no life can solve the case. Just like Miss Marple. There’s servants, just like Upstairs Downstairs. An ugly lady in the attic like Bronte, and a case of mistaken identity like Dickens. There’s literally every single costume drama convention we could stuff into one program. C’mon PBS needs to fill the time before Downton comes back. Tune in to MURDER ABBEY!<br/><br/>Written and Performed by Kate Hess<br/>Directed by Silvija Ozols<br/>Costumes by Bridgid Ryan<br/>Graphics by Ramsey Ess</span></p> <p><span class="text_exposed_show">Appearing as a SPANK with The State vs. Josh and The Spin!<br/>Reservations: http://<span class="word_break"> </span>newyork.ucbtheatre.com/<span class="word_break"> </span>performances/view/22242</span></p> </blockquote> </blockquote> <p>I made the poster for this show, and it’s tonight! You should come, because it’ll be great!</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18132353866http://ramseyess.net/post/18132353866Thu, 23 Feb 2012 11:04:21 -0500poster<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzt141HhVH1qe8p34o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span>2012 Oscars Party Decorations - “Some French Food or Something”</span></p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18075934168http://ramseyess.net/post/18075934168Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:12:00 -0500oscarsoscarpartyoscardecorations<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzszkpRF711qe8p34o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span>2012 Oscars Party Decorations - “The Descendants-on-a-log”</span></p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18074587621http://ramseyess.net/post/18074587621Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:38:49 -0500oscarsoscarpartyoscardecorations<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzsyhhSGV31qe8p34o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>2012 Oscars Party Decorations - “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Chips”</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/18073660508http://ramseyess.net/post/18073660508Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:15:17 -0500oscarsoscarpartyoscardecorations<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/37079262?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400" height="224" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/><br/><p>I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve determined that it would be possible to improve <em>Downton Abbey </em>and make it accessible to all types of audiences. The video above is a 20 second example to show just how easy it would be.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17949264608http://ramseyess.net/post/17949264608Mon, 20 Feb 2012 11:00:05 -0500videosDowntondownton abbey<a href="http://www.wonderfulthanks.com/post/17606351642/episode-twenty-four-fantasy-with-lev-grossman">Wonderful, Thanks.: Episode Twenty-Four - Fantasy with Lev Grossman</a>: <p><a href="http://www.wonderfulthanks.com/post/17606351642/episode-twenty-four-fantasy-with-lev-grossman" class="tumblr_blog">wonderfulthanks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong><img align="right" height="188" src="http://www.ramseyess.com/wonderfulthanks/past/guests/lev.jpg" width="150"/></strong></p> <p><strong>Word: </strong>Fantasy<br/><strong>Guest: </strong><a href="https://www.levgrossman.com">Lev Grossman</a><br/><strong>Bio: </strong>Lev Grossman is the New York Times bestselling author of <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452296293/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wondthan-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0452296293">The Magicians</a><img border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wondthan-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0452296293" width="1"/>,</em> its sequel <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0670022314/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=wondthan-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0670022314">The Magician King</a></em><img border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wondthan-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0670022314" width="1"/>, and several other wonderful books. Additionally, he has worked as a journalist for <em>The Village Voice, Entertainment Weekly,…</em></p></blockquote>http://ramseyess.net/post/17608282102http://ramseyess.net/post/17608282102Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:19:39 -0500<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:</strong><br/>The Kardashian sisters will appear topless in a new series of ads for Sears promoting a line of jeans named for each of them. So be sure to pick up your pairs of “Over Her” and “The Other One” jeans today! [KEY: Those names stitched on denim]</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17439386782http://ramseyess.net/post/17439386782Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:20:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>From the week of February 1st, 2012:</strong><br/>Officials in Weed, California arrested a man at a local bus terminal who was carrying more than 1 million dollars in meth. Meanwhile, officials in Meth, California are very close to passing legislation to change their name.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17430618688http://ramseyess.net/post/17430618688Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:40:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:</strong><br/>German authorities have started issuing parking tickets to drivers that do not have a fine and just the message “lucky you.” Man, even when the Germans try to do something nice there’s a hidden layer of underlying threats.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17380964436http://ramseyess.net/post/17380964436Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:20:06 -0500<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012:</strong><br/>CBS has ordered a new series that will be set at the headquarters for Groupon. The show’s about three wacky friends who work at a company that’s about to collapse into bankruptcy.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17375414151http://ramseyess.net/post/17375414151Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:40:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>From the Week of February 1st, 2012:<br/></strong>A couple in Las Vegas this week, who have been married for 78 years, were named the longest married couple in the country, with a combined length of 188 inches.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17327471342http://ramseyess.net/post/17327471342Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:20:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>From the Week of February 1st, 2012:<br/></strong>A new casino being constructed in Atlantic City, New Jersey has announced that it will set term limits for its staff, requiring them to reapply for their jobs after their term ends, which will give the entire staff a specific point to reflect and consider where their lives went wrong.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17321941079http://ramseyess.net/post/17321941079Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:40:06 -0500jokes<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://assets.tumblr.com/swf/audio_player_black.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/17281616751/tumblr_lz2odpTXhD1qbwhay&color=FFFFFF" height="27" width="207" quality="best" wmode="opaque"></embed><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kevhines.tumblr.com/post/17263869716/the-return-of-will-hines-and-ramsey-ess-and-the">kevhines</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>The return of Will Hines and Ramsey Ess, and the debut of Silvija Ozols!</p> <p>24 minutes long. Hey, if you like this go to the Itunes page and rate/review it!</p> <p>Also I’d like to be the first person to go on record as a fan of Ramsey’s BIG FAN guy.</p> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://toyns.tumblr.com/post/17260584775/im-really-excited-about-the-biggest-episode-of">toyns</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m really excited about the biggest episode of <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/things-are-happening/id495595953">Things Are Happening</a> ever:</p> <ul><li>Eddie Brawley</li> <li>Ramsey Ess</li> <li>Kevin Hines</li> <li>Will Hines</li> <li>Silvija Ozols</li> <li>Erik Tanouye</li> </ul><p>We make jokes, interview some people at the new Greek security fence, and play the popular game <strong><em>Charles Dickens Or Punky Brewster?</em></strong></p> <p><a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/thingsarehappening/February_8_2012.mp3">Download</a> it! <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/things-are-happening/id495595953">Subscribe</a> to it! Rate it on iTunes!</p> <p><img height="200" src="http://writeitlikedisaster.com/files/ThingsHappeningLogosmall.png" width="200"/></p> </blockquote> </blockquote> <p>You guys, I don’t know if this podcast is as fun to listen to as it is to be on, but if it is, this podcast is insanely fun to listen to.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17281616751http://ramseyess.net/post/17281616751Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:03:31 -0500<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012: <br/></strong>On Monday, NBC pulled an episode of the reality show “Fear Factor” in which contestants were forced to drink donkey semen, and since they won’t be airing that episode, that means that you’re watching the network that made someone drink donkey for no reason.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17273303986http://ramseyess.net/post/17273303986Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:20:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012: <br/></strong>Mitt Romney on Tuesday won the Florida primary with 47 percent of the vote. But only if you consider being popular in Florida “winning.”</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17267731232http://ramseyess.net/post/17267731232Wed, 08 Feb 2012 11:40:06 -0500jokes<p><strong>Jokes from the Week of February 1st, 2012: <br/></strong>Newt Gingrich is being sued for using the song “Eye of the Tiger” from Rocky III at political rallies. You know you’re in trouble when it’s 2012 and the band Survivor is asking to be heard by fewer people.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17225687457http://ramseyess.net/post/17225687457Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:37:03 -0500jokes<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/36211065?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="400" height="224" frameborder="0"></iframe><br/><br/><p>Okay, so maybe it’s stupid to premiere a video about a British TV drama the day after America’s biggest TV watching day, but I’m proud of this, so here it is again.</p> <p>Here are a few highlights from the enhanced version of <em>Downton Abbey</em> I did for PBS. Basically, an image of me pops into frame to interrupt the episode and explain cultural and historical information to Americans.</p> <p>Also, I’m lying about that, but that’s the framing device for my <em>Downton Abbey</em> jokes in this video.</p> <p>(Also, be careful, because if you’re not up to date with PBS’ airing of the show, because there are spoilers. It won’t spoil future stuff though.)</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17159996141http://ramseyess.net/post/17159996141Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:57:44 -0500videosdowntondownton abbey<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyum2oBo9l1qe8p34o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>Twitter’s pretty cool.</p>http://ramseyess.net/post/17009531710http://ramseyess.net/post/17009531710Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:08:48 -0500