December 2010
19 posts
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Jokes from the Week of 12/04 - 4
A postcard was posted online this past weekend that features seven cast members from the Harry Potter movie series, including Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Alan Richman, and claims that one of them is the father of a little girl that he has never met. However, the answer will be revealed in book 8 of the Harry Potter series: “Harry Potter and the Rupert Grint Did It.”
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Jokes from the Week of 12/04 - 5
A new group has been formed on Facebook that connects mothers who cannot breast feed, or who have a low supply of breast milk, with women who have enough to spare, marking the first time that the Internet and breasts teamed up for something besides masturbation.
Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: my newest...
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Jokes from the Week of 12/04 - 3
According to PNC Wealth Management, the cost for all the items in the Twelve Days of Christmas would be nearly 100, 000 dollars. But for all you bargain shoppers out there, it would only cost 250 dollars to run over your grandmother with a reindeer.
Building Anticipation
Everybody excited for my new holiday song, premiering here tomorrow? I don’t know how you could be as I haven’t said anything about it before now.
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Jokes from the Week of 12/04 - 2
It was revealed Monday that a retired French electrician and his wife have come forward with over 270 undocumented, never-before-seen works by Pablo Picasso estimated to be worth close to 80 million dollars. Historians are skeptical though, after the owner claimed the art was from Picasso’s “dogs playing poker” period.
Here’s a holiday classic that hasn’t...
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Jokes from the Week of 12/04 - 1
Justin Bieber this past weekend revealed that he had his hair cut. ”I guess that’s why no one noticed my haircut, ” justified the guy that nobody likes at your office.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/20 - 5
A new study shows 17 percent of Americans have had sex at work. Hang on. Before you run to the Internet, the study doesn’t show Americans having sex at work. Oh, never mind. I don’t have time to explain it.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/20 - 4
American Greetings has unveiled a new line of cards that can double as whoopee cushions. So, around your birthday, listen for that from the bottom of your garbage can.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/20 - 3
More than 40 teams competed this past weekend in New York in the two day Quidditich world cup tournament from the Harry Potter movies. Unfortunately, there were only losers.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/20 - 2
New research suggests that many dolphins who beach themselves are deaf. Or at least none of the beached dolphins reacted when researchers shouted “hey, dolphin” at them.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/20 - 1
Despite many states banning the sale of caffeine-infused alcoholic beverages such as Four Loko, there has been no move to ban the popular Allen’s Coffee Flavored Brandy, which has been called the “champagne of Maine.” Also still readily available: The Merlot of Idaho, the Vermouth of Vermont, and meth, from West Virginia.
My Real-Time Review of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the...
Last night I went to see Julie Taymor and Bono’s new Broadway musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. Rather than write a reflection, I feel as though my tweets from the show sum things up pretty well.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/13 -5
A new survey shows that 17 percent of men have faked an orgasm. The same survey revealed that 17 percent of men don’t read survey questions before they write an answer.
Reviews from the Future
Spider-Man… Turn Off the Dark, Turn on My Heart.
This might also count as a poem. I’m not sure.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/13 - 4
A professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University lost 27 pounds in two months after only eating Twinkies, Doritos, sugary cereals, and Oreos. In related news, a Kansas State University professor learned that it is possible to have your doctorate in human nutrition revoked.
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Jokes from the Week of 11/13 - 3
A man in Bronx, New York has capitalized on a public school cell phone ban by setting up a truck outside the school where students can store their phones for 1 dollar a day. So to summarize for all you teens out there: Seeing a stranger in a truck and getting in it: bad. Seeing a stranger in a truck and giving him a tiny computer that probably has naked photos of yourself on it and a dollar:...