May 2012
9 posts
Joke #00200
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: Dominos this week announced plans to start selling gluten-free pizza. So get ready to learn that the problem wasn’t gluten.
Joke #00199
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: New research suggests that drinking red wine can help keep a person’s skin and muscles young and fresh. The research also showed that drinking white wine just makes you look cheap.
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Joke #00198
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: In a new interview James Cameron says that the only movies he plans on making from now on are documentaries and sequels to Avatar. America has announced that they only plan on seeing half of those choices.
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Joke #00197
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: Two men this week filed a 2 million dollar federal lawsuit against John Travolta alleging that the actor groped them and tried to force a sexual encounter during a private massage at a hotel in Atlanta. Travolta claims that he only told the masseuse that he wanted to “hand JIVE.”
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Joke #00196
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: Producers of the AMC series Mad Men had to pay 250,000 dollars for the rights to use the Beatles’ song “Tomorrow Never Knows” in a recent episode. Although that sounds like a lot, it’s nothing compared to the price of using a Beatles song that people would recognize.
Joke #00195
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: A new study shows that 79 percent of married couples who separate will continue on to get a divorce. The other 21 percent are brought back together by their scheming twin daughters.
Joke #00194
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: A new report lists the US as the 25th best place in the world to be a mother, which is up from 31st place last year. In last place again this year: a high school prom.
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Joke #00193
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: Mitt Romney on Tuesday criticized President Obama saying that the country is not going “forward, but sideways or worse,” though some would say that’s better than Romney’s plan to move the country backwards to 1890.
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Joke #00192
From the Week of May 7th, 2012: A federal judge this week ruled in favor of Victor Willis, from the Village People, in his effort to regain control of the rights to their hit song “YMCA” from two publishing companies. That’s the way the court systems work in this country: always siding with the cops.
April 2012
9 posts
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When you realize that “Where is My...
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Wasted Words: Show 129 →
This week I appeared as a guest on one of my favorite podcasts, “Wasted Words.” I asked the panelists what their ideal restaurant would look like immediately after explaining that I don’t care that much about food.
Check it out, but only if you like to enjoy fun things!
Introducing Kitchen Archive: Old recipes, new... →
mocahill:
Kitchen Archive is my new food blog devoted to old family recipes and recipes from my growing collection of community cookbooks. I promise lots of baked goods, recipes written in poetic verse, and some finds from my grandmothers’ recipe clippings (e.g. 1960s diet guides and retro food packaging).
My wife is an excellent writer and an excellent cook. If either of these attributes...
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March 2012
23 posts
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Wonderful, Thanks.: Episode Twenty-Seven - Autumn... →
wonderfulthanks:
Word: Autumn Guest: Will McRobb Bio: I’ll start with the big one: Will McRobb, along with Chris Viscardi, was one of the co-creators of Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete and Pete. Since then he’s worked on a long list of television shows and films.He is a father, a recent…
Episode Twenty-Six - Mixtapes with Mike Doughty
wonderfulthanks:
Word: Mixtapes Guest: Mike Doughty Bio: Wanna know who’s fun to talk to? Mike Doughty. Additionally, he is also the author of The Book of Drugs, solo musician, former leader of Soul Coughing and a prolific tweeter. If you’re a fan of things that are great, then you are probably already familiar with this guy.
Discussed: Fire, illegal downloads, New Yorker, fictional band...
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Joke #00191
From the week of February 26th, 2012: The final volume of the Dictionary of American Regional English will soon be published and feature definitions for such words as “bubbler,” which is a water fountain in Wisconsin, “dry-land fish,” which is a mushroom in Kentucky, and Santorum, which in some communities in America refers to a senator from Pennsylvania.
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Joke #00190
From the week of February 26th, 2012: While campaigning in Georgia this week, Newt Gingrich price of gas to $2.50 a gallon. This became less exciting when he explained that he would do so by drilling on the moon.
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Joke #00189
From the week of February 26th, 2012: It was reported that Mitt Romney personally drove out to Kid Rock’s house in Michigan to get the musician to perform at a political rally on Monday. This information did not improve anyone’s opinion of Kid Rock or Mitt Romney.
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Joke #00188
From the week of February 26th, 2012: Michael Douglas is starring in a series of ads for the FBI warning people about the dangers of insider trading and Ponzi schemes. Unfortunately he ends the ads with the confusing slogan: “and remember what my character Gordon Gecko would say in the Bizzaro universe: greed is bad.”
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Joke #00187
From the week of February 26th, 2012: This Tuesday was National Pancake Day at IHOP. But shouldn’t it be International Pancake Day? I’m beginning to think that IHOP isn’t as internationally accredited as they claim.
Joke #00186
From the week of February 26th, 2012: Angelina Jolie got a lot of attention at the Academy Awards Sunday for repeatedly striking a pose showing off her right leg. In related news, all week Hollywood has been buzzing with rumors about a one-night stand between her leg and the dog from The Artist.
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Joke #00185
From the week of February 26th, 2012: Vatican officials said this week that Pope Benedict will launch a Twitter account and tweet once a day throughout Lent. Apparently the Pope is giving up his dignity for Lent.
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Joke #00184
From the week of February 12th, 2012: Two people are already competing to trademark the phrase “Linsanity,” in reference to the New York Knicks rookie Jeremy Lin. Meanwhile, some pessimistic fans are already fighting over the rights to “Lincident,” “Linjury” and “Jeremy Lin Sucks.”
Joke #00183
From the week of February 12th, 2012: After a massive backlash, Sony Music on Tuesday apologized saying it was a “mistake” to raise the prices of Whitney Houston’s albums on iTunes in the hours after her death, and should have waited until Monday.
Joke #00182
From the week of February 12th, 2012: A doctor in Michigan has used part of a woman’s shoulder blade to reconstruct her voice box. The only downside is that she is now constantly asking her husband to rub her voice box.
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Joke #00181
From the week of February 12th, 2012: A company in Ohio offers a service in which couples can charter a small airplane and join the mile-high club. Depending on how you look at it, it’s a very cheap plane ride or a very expensive motel room.
Joke #00180
From the week of February 12th, 2012: After winning six awards this week, including Record of the Year, many have named Adele the evening’s big winner, but I think they’re focusing too much on looks.
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Joke #00179
From the week of February 12th, 2012: In an effort to keep employees happy, several firms in Colorado have begun offering perks such as beer on tap, on-site yoga instructors, and unlimited burritos. Unfortunately, the room in which they keep those perks now smells terrible.
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Joke #00178
From the week of February 5th, 2012: More than 111 million people watched the Super Bowl this past weekend, breaking the record for most watched show in TV history, which was previously held by that episode of MASH where Jerry Seinfeld delivered Lucy’s baby to the end zone to win Super Bowl 35.
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Joke #00177
From the week of February 5th, 2012: This Tuesday marked Charles Dickens’ 200th birthday. He spent this one just as he has the past few: spinning in his grave, thinking about the musical Oliver.
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Joke #00176
From the week of February 5th, 2012: Jay-Z this week became the first hip-hop artist to play New York’s Carnegie Hall. How did he get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, mainstream appeal.
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Joke #00175
From the week of February 5th, 2012: The Bronx Zoo is offering a Valentine Day promotion in which for 10 dollars people can name one of its 58,000 hissing cockroaches. It’s perfect for the girl with a sense of humor who didn’t think she was getting anything anyway.
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Joke #00174
From the week of February 5th, 2012: In an interview this week Daniel Radcliffe admitted that in the past he has slept with Harry Potter groupies, or as they prefer to be called: Ho-meonies.
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Joke #00173
I am behind in posting my jokes, so all this week I’ll be posting the best of the best from the last month. Here’s the first:
From the week of February 5th, 2012: An Australian daredevil is hoping to break a world record by skydiving from more than 23 miles above the earth. But you’ll notice he never said the words “and live.”
February 2012
25 posts
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