April 22nd, 2014

Joke #00687

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

There has been an increase around the world in construction of “freeports,” which are high-end warehouses where the ultra-rich can store items such as priceless art, fine wines and vintage cars. So, basically a Sam’s Club for burglars.

April 22nd, 2014

thefreecomicstrip:

Old Slang Comics

PRESENTING: A comic strip!

I like to draw and I like to write jokes, so I decided to go back to my roots and launch a comic strip. It’s called “The Free Comic Strip,” and there’s no narrative, just a new (often stupid) joke every Tuesday and Thursday. Give it a follow!

April 21st, 2014

Joke #00686

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

This Monday was National Beer Day. This news comes courtesy of my unemployed friend on Facebook who posts that every Monday.

April 21st, 2014

"Get Lucky" mashed up with Lana Del Rey’s "Summertime Sadness"

April 20th, 2014

Joke #00685

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

Director Richard Donner said this week that plans are in the works for a sequel to his 1985 hit movie Goonies. It’s basically two hours of the kids, now in their thirties, talking about how they’ve basically done nothing since the last adventure.

April 19th, 2014

Joke #00684

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

After Kentucky lost in the NCAA tournament to U Conn, chaos erupted on the campus of Kentucky with multiple couches being set on fire. So at least they beat Connecticut at senseless destruction.

April 18th, 2014

Joke #00683

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

Police in Portland, Oregon have arrested the “Nerdy Bandit,” who would rob trendy stores while wearing thick-framed glasses and a short-brimmed hat, which is impressive since they had to narrow down the list of suspects down from “every male in Portland.”

April 17th, 2014

Joke #00682

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

Pakistan’s criminal justice system has come under international scrutiny after police charged a 9 month old baby with attempted murder. To make matters worse, the baby bribed his way out of the charges.

April 16th, 2014

Joke #00681

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

NBC has launched a new campaign to find the next big sitcom by allowing anyone to pitch their ideas to the network. They’re calling the campaign “We’re Tired of Guessing.”

April 16th, 2014

"You Belong With Horse" (Katy Perry vs. Taylor Swift)

I will stop making these when pop music stops being catchy.

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@ramsobot

Ramsey Ess is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn. He is a freelancer for late night television, writer of a weekly column about old TV for Splitsider, a podcaster, and improviser. He is also the writer/star of the webseries "Ramsey Has a Time Machine."

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