April 19th, 2014

Joke #00684

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

After Kentucky lost in the NCAA tournament to U Conn, chaos erupted on the campus of Kentucky with multiple couches being set on fire. So at least they beat Connecticut at senseless destruction.

April 18th, 2014

Joke #00683

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

Police in Portland, Oregon have arrested the “Nerdy Bandit,” who would rob trendy stores while wearing thick-framed glasses and a short-brimmed hat, which is impressive since they had to narrow down the list of suspects down from “every male in Portland.”

April 17th, 2014

Joke #00682

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

Pakistan’s criminal justice system has come under international scrutiny after police charged a 9 month old baby with attempted murder. To make matters worse, the baby bribed his way out of the charges.

April 16th, 2014

Joke #00681

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

NBC has launched a new campaign to find the next big sitcom by allowing anyone to pitch their ideas to the network. They’re calling the campaign “We’re Tired of Guessing.”

April 16th, 2014

"You Belong With Horse" (Katy Perry vs. Taylor Swift)

I will stop making these when pop music stops being catchy.

April 15th, 2014

Joke #00680

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

According to a new survey 80 percent of American workers are stressed out by at least one thing at work. For example, people who design surveys are stressed out about the fact that they ran out of good ideas for surveys about six months ago.

April 15th, 2014

Ramsey Has a Time Machine Bonus Features! 
Improvs and Make-Em-Ups (and Parades) Pt. 2

While filming episodes 5 and 6 of “Ramsey Has a Time Machine,” Morgan Evans, Jon Gutierrez, Rob Michael Hugel, and Frank Hejl kept coming up with more funny stuff than I could fit. Also a parade went by.

April 14th, 2014

Joke #00679

From the Week of April 12th, 2014:

The Reverend Al Sharpton this week responded to a report that he was an FBI informant in the 1980s saying, “I am not a rat. I’m a cat. I chase rats.” You can read his full response in this book for children learning how to read.

April 11th, 2014

Joke #00678

From the Week of April 5, 2014:

President Obama announced this week that 7.1 million people have signed up for insurance through the Affordable Care Act, exceeding the White House’s original goal of not getting shut down by Republicans.

April 11th, 2014

Joke #00677

From the Week of April 5, 2014:

A new report shows that women today work harder and make more money than their mothers did at the same age. The report then broke the record for most passive-aggressively emailed article.

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@ramsobot

Ramsey Ess is a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn. He is a freelancer for late night television, writer of a weekly column about old TV for Splitsider, a podcaster, and improviser. He is also the writer/star of the webseries "Ramsey Has a Time Machine."

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