RamseyEss

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

NASA announced this week that it is looking for haikus to send aboard a new space craft that will be sent to Mars. Apparently to punish the Mars Rovers.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

A new survey shows that 41 percent of college graduates are overqualified for the jobs they have. The other 59% are unemployed.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

A woman in Georgia was arrested after she was caught stealing a Bible from a book store. When asked for comment, God was kinda conflicted.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

ESPN reporter Chris Broussard created a controversy this week after he said that according to the Bible homosexuality is a sin and that NBA player Jason Collins can’t call himself a Christian after revealing that he was gay. This will probably be the last edition of SportsCenter’s “Theology Bench.”

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

Florida police arrested a man after he broke into a home then stopped to play with a toy helicopter and eat a salad. But at least he’s not letting his profession get in the way of his day to day life, right?

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

A New York man has made a living for the past 8 years by selling the items he finds dropped down subway grates. It turns out there’s a great resale market for broken umbrellas and flyers for eyebrow threadings.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

Students in a Mechatronics class at the University of Colorado are holding a tournament featuring autonomous, Dodgeball-playing robots which they constructed, meaning American students are so lazy that now they’re building robots to get out of gym class.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

This week two long running soap operas “All My Children” and “One Life to Live,” which were canceled in 2011, returned as web series, which is the perfect place for their key audience to never find them.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

The FBI is reportedly trying to reconstruct an Instagram account once owned by suspected Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, which was recently deleted. So far they’ve taken photos of a large number of sandwiches in the Boston area.

From the Week of April 28th, 2013:

It was announced this week that the a TV version of the Huffington Post will soon begin airing on the cable channel AXS TV, although you can make the show yourself by just flipping back and forth between all of the other news shows.